Visa IS here!

Oh Yeah~ now that's what we're talking about. We got the visa, we sent the application for the rental and yeah! Sydney, just wait for me baby, 1 more week to go :3 Let's start packing, get ready 'cause we are heading to our new home, new school and new life.

Awesome! @o@

Can't wait to put my hands on decorating my new room and house, especially, my new room. Paint it! Add furniture! Get books. And books. AND BOOKS! Omg, i can't wait anymore.

Oh, i forgot one thing, before i fly to my new life I'm going to be the guest for 2 schools' Halloween events. A Hunted race and a costume party. Cool! Can't wait for that as well. I am going to dress up as a dead artist, wooh~ CREEPY! I hope no real ghost will jump out at me when I am trying to scare the crap out of somebody. :3

Yeah~ Anyway, happy early Halloween @#$%&*?

I'm drunk!!

This is the first time I've ever gotten drunk, it's sooooo interesting! I feel dizzy, everything seem to be spinning in front of me, my balance suck =]]]]]] However my consciousness is still around, I don't talk stupidly :3 and I don't act silly. I can still think normally, it's just my balance, I feel like I could fall at Anytime :3 All well, I did not vomit, I did not fall either, and yeah, I cannot sleep as fast as most drunk people do. =]]]]]] Sooooo funny! Anyway, I want the next time I'm drunk is when I'm with the one who loves me and I love him :3 It's great to have a broad (?) Shoulder so I can lean against and express my inner feelings, because I'm an introvert. :3

Yeah~ off to sleep....

I hate people ARGUING!!!!!!!!

I don't care if people just yell at me, if I'm wrong, they can! However, I hate Hate HATE people yelling at each other in front of me while asking for MY opinion!!! They asked me to be there at least acknowledge my appearance! It's not only acquaintance, it's about my friends and family also. OMG, I just hate it!! I feel so annoying, I couldn't believe it, especially when people just start throwing stuffs, smashing this or that.

HELLO!?

I'm RIGHT here! You might not care about your stuff but I do! It hurts looking people hurting their stuffs, at least I don't smash and throw them like that. I just dropped them and I DON'T mean it! OMG! Talking about stuff like this just make me go crazy. Like when my friends [they are a couple] and they quarreled, okay, I got it. If you don't want people to be nosy in your business? Fine, I will get the hell out of it, but what? They came to me and talked about it. Shouldn't I feel responsibility? I just want them to understand other people feeling and explained it. And then they yelled at each other and then me... Okay. Another example. When my parents argued, I just stay quiet as I usually are then they just dragged me into the conversation asking how I feel? Okay, I told them what I felt then they keep argue!!

I just don't understand people, but anyway, I hate people arguing. Make it fair, stay calm. Even when you are angry, don't yell at other people face. If someone else is standing around, acknowledge their existence!! If you want to yell, hold it in and yell at each other when you guys are alone!!!!!!!! This topic is getting nowhere, OMG I just can't state how angry and annoyed I am about this. I HATE THIS!!!!!!!

It's irritating!!!

Right now, I'm already in High School and I found nothing changed within me except what I have to study. Looking at my friends, who have boy friend/girl friend drive me crazy. I cannot stand this anymore!!! :( Everyone has someone they care about, or someone who cares about them, I want to love and beloved also... However, things always turn out that no one likes me. Is it because I'm not beautiful? I'm fat? I'm not good at studying? I don't have talent? My personality is bad? Am I greedy or mean? I don't know!!! My mom always tells me that: "You just met the wrong guys, the right one will soon approach!!"

And when is that?? Is it because I am still young? 16? Okay, may be I am still young but at least I want to experience "love youth" :"< Seeing my friends like that, I know that I should be saying things like congratulations and give them private spaces. Yeah I did! And so, I am alone. My 2nd mother is in another school. My sis is in America and my bro is in Australia!! I can't stand this anymore! I hate being an FA so much...

Even when I have my best friends, they have to study at school while I'm stuck with this visa-waiting-thingie. :"< Can anyone tell me why or at least be my friend and talk to me :"<

A cloudy day

It's a cloudy day with light rain sometimes during the day. It feels cool and makes me can't help but feeling lazy :3

Listening to the song Katayoku no Tori (片翼の鳥) chills me up :3 I want to learn to play piano so bad :]]] even when I did not finish the other song of Sound Horizon.

Oh yeah, in my Japanese lesson, I'm making progresses. Learning new kanji! e.g 会社員　銀行員　自動車　etc.

It makes me proud and think that I'm a genious, even though I'm not! (TOT)

Yeah, I still not yet to be heard about my visa. ( ･`ω･´) therefore I'm using most of my time in drawings, I'm planning toget back to painting also, when I have time...

And below is the pic I finished recently.

Remember this

I can keep in mind a lot of things people said today but I might forget them as soon as I wake up the next day. It's because those things don't actually meaningful for me since the people who said are not that special to me.

However, once I kept in HEART whatever someone said. They are those who're special to me :3

Yeah, one more things, there are a lot of times when don't remember what my mom told me to do, yeah, it's because I rememeber them, but I'm too lazy to do it :) But the rest I remember it :))

Lack of bound?

To think carefully, we really have lots in common. We both love art, especially drawings. We love cats or even charmed by them. We both play games :) (LoL) well I can not be as good as him. We play bowling, with our best friend. We all like sweets. Our horoscopes seem okay together too. We can talk pretty well, sometimes too. We have been classmates an friends for 4 years and a half.

I don't know, is it just me having somethig that he doesn't like or is it because we don' have any special bound... i hope i will know why in the future.

First day learning Japanese & LoL events

Today is my first day of learning Japanese with a Sensei! Not by myself :) I have learnt to introduce myself :
はじめまして。私はエリです。ベトナムから来ました。どぞよろしく、おねがいします。
Which means: First time we meet (or Hello. My name is Eri. I came from Vietnam. Nice to see you. Please help me in the future or sth like that. :))

Great!

Next, the game I am currently playing is Liên minh huyền thoại or League of Legend ver. Vn. They are hosting an event of designing costume for the LoL champions with the style of Vietnam. Cool!

I'm sketching Katarina in "Áo yếm" with inspiration from the movie Mỹ nhân kế. I hope people will like it and if possible, I want the points from the prize to buy new skins for my champions. :)

Wish me luck :))

Saying goodbye

This is my last school year at this school.I will study abroad and some of my friends too. Some fly to USA, some Singapore, some AU, some I don't know. I know I will miss them and my families but this is for my future. I'm doing this for my dreams,my career and my wishes. I don't know how yet, but i just know that this is my first step and I have to do it.

My friends made me a confession booklet on the last day of school even though i was not there. I've read all of them and felt glad that i have such great friends. Some confession sounds teasing but deep in them are emotions, are love. Therefore, I made a confession for 31 people in both IGCSE 1A&B, Mr Don, and the Prez + PR in Student council. I'm glad that they can understand my feelings.

Well it's 3 more months until I'm no longer in VN :) i can start my new life, yeah :3
Ok, off to bed. It's 12'13 pm. G9.

Well, it's summer time! :3

Yeah, it's the end of our school year. Yesterday, we have a prom night at new world. I tried to dress up more carefully than usual and my mom helped me too. It's great that most of my teacher found me looking pretty or even beautiful. I'm glad. However, I came with my friends but nearly at the end, I felt a lityle bit left out. You know, no boyfriend, closest friends - one is studying abroad, one is in a different school and one is having fun with his girlfriend. I know that I also isolated myself by saying that I will go home early...

And yeah, C is right, I always tried to deny my feelings and show my smiling mask... Yesterday, I avoided that person. I didn't want to see him. I know that I have to move on and bury this special feeling deep deep in my heart. Yeah... I tried to like someone else, but it always turned out that they have someone in their heart.

I'm scared of being hurt. For more than four years, I felt happy with those memories that I thought were happy moments. I know that I just trying to fool myself.

I don't know... well okay. I feel better after writing it down in this anonymous blog of mine. Love you <3

I forgot to update recently...

Well, it's really is a complicating situation.

I've just found out that I'm such a simple person. I won't care about them as long as they don't do anything that annoyed me.

However, my friends are more complicated. Just a little small fight can make them mad. I know, me too sometimes. I will get mad easily if I'm not in a good mood... well okay, what I'm trying to say is that I don't know if I am acting too easy on everything?

Test is over!!!!

Yeh! No more test! And only 3 more weeks i am no longer forced to wear my stupid, ugly uniform. It's almost summer break for us, 1 month for most of my friends and 5 months for me.　( ﾟдﾟ )

Isn't it strange? It's because we will no longer study at the same school anymore. I will be moving to Australia for my high school level then university. I can't wait to move. Just imagine that I will have a complete new life there with a new start. No one knows about me, I can act mysteriously. I can look for a boy who care about me? I can study about making coffee so I can find a part time job at a coffee shop.

New house, new friend, new city, new country.

With everything new, I can forget everything, my first stupid love, my bad memories. I just hope that I can make friend at my new school but it seems that I have never learnt how to introduce myself... that's a little bit challenging...

Anyway, off to bed now (*´Д｀)
お休みなさい。。。

Smile...

I don't often smile because I know that even when I smile, I still look bad. I'm not as bright and shiny as most of the girl in my clasd. Even more, I look really creepy and gloomy that most people thought that I was a freak when they first met me.

Isn't it funny?

My appearance is not girly at all. Most of my friends told me to lose weight because it seems like I look to fat compare to my height. Anyway, it's always me who running after those who don't love me while there is no one who love me in return. Now that I realize how important appearance is. If you are good looking, it can cover up the ugliness inside you. Or in opposite, if you are not beautiful and attractive, even when you care for others' feelings, no one would actually care.

I am such a pathetic loser...

A dream that never comes true

Now when that day is coming closer, I finally realize my dream. I want a loving bound between my dearest ones. I want them to share both hapiness and sadness...

However, I know that my dream would never come true. 20 years can't change a person then how can a wish can? Even if it can, it's already too late. Pain might become vague but you know it still there. Wound might heal but the scar will still exist. You can't simply delete everything with a talk.

That's the best choice for the three of us. He is living more independent and her smile seems happier. For me to see, that is enough. If you can't fix the problem then don't try, you will just make it more complicated...

Sayonara...

Test comingggg....

I HATE TEST the most! It always forced me to stay up so late to study and caused me so much headache that I almost go crazy because of it. Tomorrow I will have Math (1h) and Science (2h) test :"<

I did not study any thing but some basic things... Even though I try to study but it always turns out that I don't have any thing. I am the type of person who would not do things that I don't like even though that "things" are studying for my upcoming test. :"< I just don't want to study :((

OMG!!! Just think about it makes me go crazy! Oh well, off to sleep now! :3

What is troubling me?

There is a question which always seems to trouble me: "What do I scare of losing the most?"

The answer is always there but I am scared to admit it so people who would want to make me suffer might take advantage of it and take away my precious treasure. Every minute, every second, I think of the worst situation might happen and the image of me being left behind appear to be so vivid that I sometimes thought that it was a forecast. However, I know that if I can think of the worst situation at any point, it won't happen. Yeah, it won't happen like I thought but happen in a way that I could never expected.

For example, I always be prepared that the one I like would never love me but will love someone who is much better than me or someone who he has spent years next to. It did not happen but turned out that he loves a girl in my class - one of the girls whom I did not expect the most. Yeah, that's how life is. It's a game whereas you can never expect what will happen tomorrow. Someone could wish you luck for your love yesterday can turn her back to you the other day and help another girl to take away the chance of love from you. You can't tell.

If you ask me if I have to be separated from someone will I choose to go or to stay. I will choose to go so I don't have to look back at those memories. However, to those who I love, I would rather choose to stay so they don't have to suffer from the pain of being left behind. It would be better for me to stand for the pain than to let those I love feel those pain.

I just wish that I will never be separated from my dearest ones, even when it is just a wish...

WHY this Blog exist?

There are many reasons why this blog exists and one of them is to replace my hand written diary. Yeah, I am too lazy to keep all of them together. And the reason I write diary is because I want to records all of my feelings during the time I grew up so I can remember what did happened and how I felt at that time so when I have my family, I can tell my kids "Of course I understand how you feel because I used to feel like you!"

Another reason is I want to have a place where my dreams, really feelings, arguments and thinking can be expressed. About my interests, what I want to do in the future, my love, my parents, my family etc. I know that my English and my style of writing cannot compare to a native speaker or an author but it's my feelings. It's just FACT. :">