What is troubling me?

There is a question which always seems to trouble me: "What do I scare of losing the most?"

The answer is always there but I am scared to admit it so people who would want to make me suffer might take advantage of it and take away my precious treasure. Every minute, every second, I think of the worst situation might happen and the image of me being left behind appear to be so vivid that I sometimes thought that it was a forecast. However, I know that if I can think of the worst situation at any point, it won't happen. Yeah, it won't happen like I thought but happen in a way that I could never expected.

For example, I always be prepared that the one I like would never love me but will love someone who is much better than me or someone who he has spent years next to. It did not happen but turned out that he loves a girl in my class - one of the girls whom I did not expect the most. Yeah, that's how life is. It's a game whereas you can never expect what will happen tomorrow. Someone could wish you luck for your love yesterday can turn her back to you the other day and help another girl to take away the chance of love from you. You can't tell.

If you ask me if I have to be separated from someone will I choose to go or to stay. I will choose to go so I don't have to look back at those memories. However, to those who I love, I would rather choose to stay so they don't have to suffer from the pain of being left behind. It would be better for me to stand for the pain than to let those I love feel those pain.

I just wish that I will never be separated from my dearest ones, even when it is just a wish...