It's irritating!!!

Right now, I'm already in High School and I found nothing changed within me except what I have to study. Looking at my friends, who have boy friend/girl friend drive me crazy. I cannot stand this anymore!!! :( Everyone has someone they care about, or someone who cares about them, I want to love and beloved also... However, things always turn out that no one likes me. Is it because I'm not beautiful? I'm fat? I'm not good at studying? I don't have talent? My personality is bad? Am I greedy or mean? I don't know!!! My mom always tells me that: "You just met the wrong guys, the right one will soon approach!!"

And when is that?? Is it because I am still young? 16? Okay, may be I am still young but at least I want to experience "love youth" :"< Seeing my friends like that, I know that I should be saying things like congratulations and give them private spaces. Yeah I did! And so, I am alone. My 2nd mother is in another school. My sis is in America and my bro is in Australia!! I can't stand this anymore! I hate being an FA so much...

Even when I have my best friends, they have to study at school while I'm stuck with this visa-waiting-thingie. :"< Can anyone tell me why or at least be my friend and talk to me :"<

A cloudy day

It's a cloudy day with light rain sometimes during the day. It feels cool and makes me can't help but feeling lazy :3

Listening to the song Katayoku no Tori (片翼の鳥) chills me up :3 I want to learn to play piano so bad :]]] even when I did not finish the other song of Sound Horizon.

Oh yeah, in my Japanese lesson, I'm making progresses. Learning new kanji! e.g 会社員　銀行員　自動車　etc.

It makes me proud and think that I'm a genious, even though I'm not! (TOT)

Yeah, I still not yet to be heard about my visa. ( ･`ω･´) therefore I'm using most of my time in drawings, I'm planning toget back to painting also, when I have time...

And below is the pic I finished recently.

Remember this

I can keep in mind a lot of things people said today but I might forget them as soon as I wake up the next day. It's because those things don't actually meaningful for me since the people who said are not that special to me.

However, once I kept in HEART whatever someone said. They are those who're special to me :3

Yeah, one more things, there are a lot of times when don't remember what my mom told me to do, yeah, it's because I rememeber them, but I'm too lazy to do it :) But the rest I remember it :))

Lack of bound?

To think carefully, we really have lots in common. We both love art, especially drawings. We love cats or even charmed by them. We both play games :) (LoL) well I can not be as good as him. We play bowling, with our best friend. We all like sweets. Our horoscopes seem okay together too. We can talk pretty well, sometimes too. We have been classmates an friends for 4 years and a half.

I don't know, is it just me having somethig that he doesn't like or is it because we don' have any special bound... i hope i will know why in the future.

First day learning Japanese & LoL events

Today is my first day of learning Japanese with a Sensei! Not by myself :) I have learnt to introduce myself :
はじめまして。私はエリです。ベトナムから来ました。どぞよろしく、おねがいします。
Which means: First time we meet (or Hello. My name is Eri. I came from Vietnam. Nice to see you. Please help me in the future or sth like that. :))

Great!

Next, the game I am currently playing is Liên minh huyền thoại or League of Legend ver. Vn. They are hosting an event of designing costume for the LoL champions with the style of Vietnam. Cool!

I'm sketching Katarina in "Áo yếm" with inspiration from the movie Mỹ nhân kế. I hope people will like it and if possible, I want the points from the prize to buy new skins for my champions. :)

Wish me luck :))

Saying goodbye

This is my last school year at this school.I will study abroad and some of my friends too. Some fly to USA, some Singapore, some AU, some I don't know. I know I will miss them and my families but this is for my future. I'm doing this for my dreams,my career and my wishes. I don't know how yet, but i just know that this is my first step and I have to do it.

My friends made me a confession booklet on the last day of school even though i was not there. I've read all of them and felt glad that i have such great friends. Some confession sounds teasing but deep in them are emotions, are love. Therefore, I made a confession for 31 people in both IGCSE 1A&B, Mr Don, and the Prez + PR in Student council. I'm glad that they can understand my feelings.

Well it's 3 more months until I'm no longer in VN :) i can start my new life, yeah :3
Ok, off to bed. It's 12'13 pm. G9.

Well, it's summer time! :3

Yeah, it's the end of our school year. Yesterday, we have a prom night at new world. I tried to dress up more carefully than usual and my mom helped me too. It's great that most of my teacher found me looking pretty or even beautiful. I'm glad. However, I came with my friends but nearly at the end, I felt a lityle bit left out. You know, no boyfriend, closest friends - one is studying abroad, one is in a different school and one is having fun with his girlfriend. I know that I also isolated myself by saying that I will go home early...

And yeah, C is right, I always tried to deny my feelings and show my smiling mask... Yesterday, I avoided that person. I didn't want to see him. I know that I have to move on and bury this special feeling deep deep in my heart. Yeah... I tried to like someone else, but it always turned out that they have someone in their heart.

I'm scared of being hurt. For more than four years, I felt happy with those memories that I thought were happy moments. I know that I just trying to fool myself.

I don't know... well okay. I feel better after writing it down in this anonymous blog of mine. Love you <3